latulas:

U WNANA FUKCINGN GO?? ????? grab an icecream together or something because u are attractive

apple-str1der:

tips for new freshmen!

  • no one cares about anything
  • walk on the right side of the fucking hallway 
  • dont sit in the back of the bus you gotta earn that. maybe next year, champ.
  • stop screaming. we’re all tired and miserable. 
  • GIVE ME MY LUNCH TABLE BACK 

notabadday:

googlearths:

if my husband doesnt tear up when im walking down the aisle im turning the fuck around 

my husband definitely will because he’s gonna have to put up with me for the rest of his life and that’s enough to make anybody cry

I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt

ascottlegacy:

insane-maka-albarn:

is there ever a time when you’re in a fluffy RP and you just have this sudden urge to pull out ANGST LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE IT HAPPENS AND IT’S DEVASTATING AND IT’S HEART-WRENCHING AND IT MAKES YOUR RP PARTNER CRY AND THEN YOU BECOME SATAN????? 

I am always Satan.

Lookin’ at u Laz u jerkbutt.

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

subspacelouis:

nevschulmanofficial:

i wish they’d make a car air freshener that smells like zayn’s asshole

It costs $0.00 to love yourself!


"Mother Brain's a woman but she gets respect!" [x]
80

delzdesigns:

Everyone’s like whoa, ants can lift 50 times their weight. A fucking leaf is like 50 times their weight. I’ll fight an ant right now.

helloheaven-yayo:

Lana Del Rey at rockaway